hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
