one two three fourrrrnication!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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