i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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