i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
