It's Friday. Sex?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
