He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
