..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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