But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
