i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
