he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
