The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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