why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
