i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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