A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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