why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
