you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
