so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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