he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So vagazzling was a success
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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