Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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