I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
