So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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