They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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