HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
