we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
