3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
