was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
