Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
