Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
