I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
