The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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