He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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