I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
