Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
