I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
