do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
