I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
