Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i think im in europe. pls send help
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