lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
