This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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