Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
