Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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