i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
