I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
