Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
