I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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