I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
