I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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