What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
