thus making me awesome and them whores
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
