Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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