Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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